I often hear variations of the following in my complimentary clarity calls with couples
“We love each other, but I just can’t keep going like this!”
“Something is wrong with me - I’ve lost my desire”
“Every time I try, I feel criticised. It’s too painful to risk failing yet again!”
These words come from couples who genuinely want to stay together, but feel stuck, exhausted and disconnected. And it makes perfect sense.
As humans, our brains are wired to scan for danger, discomfort and disconnection, and to avoid it at all costs. That is survival instinct. But when it comes to intimate relationships, avoiding the hard stuff often is what creates even more distance.
Here is the truth -
Discomfort is part of being human and it is part of being in a long term relationship
Relationships go through natural seasons and stages
But here is what is important -
It is not the changes themselves.
It is how you navigate them together as a couple, that makes the difference
So many couples come to me with a long list of what is NOT working, and I get it, the brain does this of course
BUT here is where things can shift -
What if you asked yourself “What do I want my relationship to look like and feel like?”
THAT simple question can be a powerful turning point.
And even more powerful is SAYING IT OUT LOUD IN FRONT OF YOUR PARTNER
Because until you can both articulate what you want, you will keep getting more of what you don’t!
If you still LOVE each other and want to work together, YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN TURN THINGS AROUND!
With the right support and a clear plan, I have seen couples reconnect emotionally, rebuild desire, and start enjoying each other again.
That is exactly what I help couples do in my 6 or 12-session relationship coaching framework.
The BEST place to start is with a free 30-minute Clarity Call.
During the call, you both get to -
I will listen without judgement, offer insights and let you know how I can help if it feels like a good fit for both of you.
Clarity call direct link is on this website.
A couple who deeply love each other, have built a life together, are raising their kids together, and are quietly struggling in their intimate life. She feels unseen and pressured. He feels rejected and undesired. They are simply caught in a cycle of miscommunication and unmet needs. That is why I created my 4 Cs of Intimacy framework, to help couples move from stuck to connected.
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Contrary to popular belief, people don't just "fall in" and "fall out" of love as if love were some sort of a trapdoor. It's usually a sign that something is not working for one or both partners. Usually it is unmet needs, unresolved resentment, disconnection, or lack of emotional intimacy. Falling out of love is rarely the end!
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What many couples don’t know is that there are different types of sexual desire. Once you understand whether you have spontaneous or responsive desire, you will realise that there is nothing wrong with you! What is most needed is an understanding between you and your partner to find ways to work with your different types of desire. And it is so possible!
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